The Joys of Christmas Music

Have you ever noticed that songs have the power to transport us to an exact moment in time? 

I slid this CD into the player today. Suddenly, I was a youngster again, captivated by our family's old black and white television set as Leonard Berstein directed the New York Philharmonic in a majestic Christmas special. Such moments were a highlight of the holidays for me. 

You see, I am the daughter of two music aficionados. My mother was a pianist and organist, and my dad loved to sing and listen to music. As a teenager in Hershey, Pennsylvania, he would milk cows on Sunday afternoons, enraptured by the Metropolitan Opera on the radio. Consequently, though our old farmhouse had only one bathroom for the four of us, there was a full console organ in the living room, a piano in my brother's bedroom, and a magnificent hi-fi console under the picture window.  We kids were literally surrounded by music!

Though both my parents were well-educated, our family fell upon hard times in rural Appalachia during the '60s. In some ways, this was a blessing, for like Paul, I learned how to abound in little as well as much. When my folks were too poor to afford anything beyond nuts and tangerines for gifts, there was always Christmas music. Mother would play, or--joy of joys!--I would have the opportunity to learn and perform new music at school or with an area church. 

Mother's favorite Christmas song was "The Little Drummer Boy." Perhaps that's because she believed it's still possible to make a joyful noise regardless of one's circumstances.

While I never learned to play an instrument, and my vocal quality could best be described as acceptable, my parents did pass on their deep appreciation of music to me. What a blessing that a host of teachers, professors, and choir directors were able to add to this foundation over the decades.

I am ever in their debt!

Kay Seibert O'Hara

December 8, 2020

On Parenting Prodigals

On Parenting Prodigals

Parenting prodigals can be as devastating as losing a loved one, but you can still cultivate peace and joy in this difficult season. Here are some practices that have helped me over the years. 

1. Entrust your child to the LORD; He loves them even more than you! He is the only perfect parent and is always with them wherever they are. He will protect them or chastise them in accordance with His perfect will, and you can't ask for better than that.

2. Forgive them unconditionally, just as the LORD has forgiven you. 

3. Forgive yourself. No, you were not a perfect parent. If you are walking with the LORD, the Holy Spirit will convict you of wrongdoing. Ask the LORD for forgiveness, turn from known sin, and move on.

4. Let go of all your expectations of how your prodigal should behave. We cannot change the actions of others. Do not give your child the ability to wound you further. It is what it is. 

5. Pray for them daily. Remember: this is not the least you can do. It is the BEST you can do!

6. Give thanks to the LORD for the time they WERE in your life. An attitude of gratitude will protect you from anger, bitterness, and sin.

7. Serve the LORD with gladness and encourage others with your words and actions. If you miss your children at the holiday table, then invite a lonely senior or an international student to celebrate with you. If you are missing your grandchildren, consider working in the church nursery. 

8. Leave the light on and your heart wide open. The LORD is not finished with them yet. 

9. Accept your feelings. Grief is not a one and done experience. Weep when you need to. Smile in remembrance when you can. Your feelings are your feelings. Find a trusted Christian friend who is a good listener and will gently help you get back on track if you begin stumbling down a wrong path. 

10. Have a ready answer for the hope that is in you. Others are watching, and the LORD will not allow your pain to be wasted. Be honest and transparent with other parents that are suffering when your discernment gives you the green light. 

11. Be careful when you are in the presence of young people who are complaining about their parents. Listen with empathy but do not support their rebellion. Redirect them to gratefulness. If they are Believers, share with them how important it is to honor their parents and pray for them.  

12. Lastly, remember that even though this may feel like a battle between you and your family member, they are not the enemy. Ephesians 6:12 states: "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood but against (the devil and his minions.)"

Here is a splendid article by Focus on the Family that addresses many aspects of parenting prodigals. I appreciate how the author anticipates the reader's concerns and objections from a Biblical standpoint.  

https://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/good-parents-prodigal-kids/?fbclid=IwAR0UoEOnD-jqCYqneYrU9-jzCOpVCOGRBzH_IqVsDD0dg50dA27NczO4b-o

Remember, while prodigal parenting can be a heartbreaking season, there can still be peace joy in the journey when we trust the LORD. 

Kay O'Hara 

July 20, 2019