"Wait" is not a Four-Letter Word

"Love is patient..." 1 Corinthians 13: 1

To be patient is to wait. But for me, "wait" has been a dirty, miserable, four-letter word for most of my life. 

You see, I was a card-carrying member of the instant gratification club. Like Violet in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, I wanted an Oompa Loompa, and I wanted it NOW. 

Only recently--this year, in fact--have I been willing to disengage my impatient spirit and quietly wait upon the LORD's perfect timing. 

It took a brother in Christ and compassionate leader to teach me this lesson. Jim has gone on before me in this battle. He wrestled with God in solitude for years, doing the work of faith and obedience until this truth was revealed in his own life. 

When it came time to impart this wisdom to me, Jim stood resolutely and quietly through my chest-pounding, childish storms of angst and misery as I wailed for things that were clearly not yet in God's timing. Jim held his ground until I exhausted myself, then knelt beside me and gently began sharing the truth about the beauty of waiting on God.

I didn't want to listen to his words.

"Live in the moment. Relish what you have right now... don't waste a minute longing for what you do not yet have. Thank God for everything--all of it--today, whether it is provision, position, possessions, or relationships. Focus on His goodness. Embrace the abundance. Appreciate it. This is God's perfect will for you, right now. It is His best. If you don't have something, He knows that this person, place, thing, or experience you are longing for will not edify you yet--perhaps never will. Trust Him. Thank Him. Be at peace. Be still and reflect.

Kay, we are experiencing a banquet of God's wonderful Providence before us. Don't run past the other delightful dishes on the table in your haste to get to the dessert. The dessert is only a very small part of the meal. These other marvelous delights that have been uncovered and offered to us are nourishing, filling, and wonderfully tasty in their own right. Enjoy these for a season."

He was right. 

I am thankful for the forty miles between us at this season in our lives and the limited amount of time we have to be together. I am grateful for this seemingly endless "Saturday" in our relationship, where we must focus first on the continuing needs of the young people we are still raising. I am committed to wait with more patience, grace, trust. I will have faith in what I cannot yet see, and I will not hurry past the abundance that has already been placed for me. 

Coming Out of the Closet

Hi. My name is Kay O’Hara, and I am coming out of the closet. I am tired of hiding who I really am. 

Top of the list? I am a Christian. I believe Jesus Christ is the Son of God, and I had a personal encounter with the LORD thirty-something years ago that has forever changed my life. As a result of this, my worldview is one that often gets sifted through the Bible, which I believe to be Inspired and Inerrant. I prefer an eternal perspective, for I believe all of us are going to live somewhere—either in fellowship with the one true God or apart from Him—forever.

I believe in the sanctity of life from conception to the grave. Though I have fallen short of the mark, I also believe in one marriage between man and woman until death parts us. I am respectful and appreciative of how God designed men in general and filled with admiration for one in particular, and that is my husband, Jim Heinz.

I believe God has created from one blood all nations of men. Although our skin color and cultures may be different, He created you with a glorious purpose, and your value is no less than my own.

I am a flawed creature, who just wants to be more like Jesus every day: loving, forgiving, and humble. If you don’t know me well enough yet to know how sinful I am, just wait a minute. I am a broken person who has been at the helm in everything from failed relationships to financial foolishness. To be honest, although I believe in a perfect, sinless Savior I am not sure you could ever meet a poorer representative of what it means to be a Christian.

I do know how to say, “I am sorry.” “I made a mistake.” “Please forgive me.” I am often painfully aware of where I missed the mark, and no one is harder on me than myself. Having said that, hope springs eternal in me. To quote a lead character from Anne of Green Gables, “Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it,” and although I am aware that I will not pass through it without messing up, I sure want to try.

Lastly, I have been heartbroken about what this recent election revealed about the character and intolerance of many I know and a few I love. The results did not divide us. We were already divided but not being honest about it. Many like me were just too polite and respectful—sometimes even fearful—to say, “I believe in something different than you.” Back in November, I pulled the lever for Pence, because of my faith and values. Donald Trump—a relative unknown to me—just happened to be on his ticket. Now that both are in leadership, they are receiving my prayers, support, and opinion.

I interact with many people who don’t share my beliefs or orientation and am often challenged to rethink the validity of both. This is a good thing. Having said that, I don’t care to be disrespected or ridiculed for my faith or values. I have a low tolerance for bullying, meanness, and harsh language. I also believe in free but respectful speech. While your voice, contributions, and purpose matter, mine do, too.  

So this is who I am. Keep me or delete me, but in the interest of full disclosure, if you didn’t know these things about me, you do now. My name is Kay O’Hara, and I am done with hiding in the closet. 

March 8, 2017